Jeroboam of 1947 Pommery

What have you been drinking?

I have six boxes of empty wine bottles in my basement. They aren't mine, they belong to my former employer. My ex-husband moved them up from New Jersey.

A few months ago I wanted to rent a u-haul and empty out our storage. My ex-husband volunteered to fly down, pack everything up and drive it back. I know you're thinking "How nice of him", but it was because he was paranoid that I would take something that belonged to him. You know like an old high school notebook or his collection of concert ticket stubs from the 70's and 80's. Anyhoo. I had some boxes that I had been storing at the warehouse at work, so I asked if he'd pick those up on the way back as well.

"How will I know what boxes are yours?" he asked

"They'll say SARA on them, in big, red letters."

Years ago when I was married to my first husband, I used to throw my clothes in a big garbage bag and toss them on the U-haul. One move my ex-husband saw the big garbage bag on the u-haul, and threw it in a dumpster somewhere in Texas. Now my family will always tie a ribbon on anything packed in a garbage bag, and I will always mark anything packed in a box with my name on it. REALLY REALLY BIG.

So it worked. I did end up with all my boxes. Plus six boxes of empty wine bottles. These aren't ordinary wine bottles either. They are the empties from the 'Top 100 wines of the Century' dinner my boss puts on every year. If you are interested in attending, you can for the mere $17,500.

So now, if they don't want the bottles back, I'll need to take them down to the recycling center in town where I'll unload a month's worth of the Rangeley "Highlander", milk jugs from the IGA, and a Jeroboam of 1947 Pommery.